Pay to Play

Back in November, when I announced my campaign for the 2012 presidential election, I said that we shouldn’t look for experienced politicians to fill roles of leadership because they are too often tainted by a corrupt system. Thank you Governor Blagojevich for proving me right to an absurd extent. A curse word would be appropriate here to help express my disgust and astonishment, but alas Mr. Governor, your French is much better than mine.

You can find better satire elsewhere, but this fiasco put me in the mood to mail this letter to the Governor:

December 17, 2008

Mr. Rod R. Blagojevich
Office of the Governor
207 State House
Springfield, IL 62706

Dear Mr. Governor,

I commend you for removing from the realm of partisan politics, the filling of the U.S. Senate seat left vacant by President Elect Barack Obama. It takes a man of your vision and capacity for leadership to reach across party lines and offer the position to the highest bidder. As obscenity is the highest form of honesty, your character, sir, is indubitably beyond reproach.

Neighborly pleasantries aside, I submit myself as a worthy candidate for the empty seat in congress. Please accept the enclosed 500 in Monopoly dollars as down payment for said seat. Of course, there is more where that came from as I wouldn’t dare insult you with such a low bid. I am prepared to offer 1,000,000.00 in yellow-gold colored, five-hundred dollar denomination, pretend non-legal tender. As a bonus, I’ve included one get-out-of-jail-free card; you never know when that will come in handy.

I look forward to your reply and the opportunity to serve the great people of Illinois. One can only hope to live up to the high standard set by you in your governorship.

Your honored constituent,
Patrick C. McDonald

Enclosures (2)

P.S. On a side note, I just picked up some choice property on Ventnor Avenue that would be perfect for a residential development, or even a hotel. Who’s palm do I have to grease around here for building permit?

I am not expecting a response even though this is waiting for him.

Briefcase full of Monopoly money