Monthly Archives: February 2009

This isn’t a great letter, but it’s a bit reminiscent of Atlas Shrugged when they try to force John Galt to be their economic dictator to solve the countries problems. Now the suggestion: Draft Steve Jobs (his health willing) to run a combined GM and Chrysler. After all, who has done a better job developing [...]

San Francisco, CA – February 15, 2009 – Omni Consumer Products has announced a 4-year sponsorship deal with Vice President Joe Biden to endorse their product Sex Panther Cologne. “Joe’s veneer of confidence is a perfect match for what we are trying to achieve,” noted Sex Panther spokesman Brian Fantana. “We’re 40% sure this is [...]

In a coincidence not quite as remarkable as Thomas Jefferson and John Adams dying on the same day, the 50th anniversary of America’s Independence, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin were born on the same day 200 years ago. Who was more influential and important to world history? Who would I rather have dinner with? These [...]

A little about the stimulus from the one-man Onion that is Iowahawk. PALO ALTO, CA – An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value “by a totally mindblowning shitload.” Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a “stimulus,” [...]

I spent the last week or so in Colorado with family and friends. Now that I’m back from CO and can breath a little easier, I’ll get back to posting.